For years and years now, ever since I was a child, I’ve always felt that New Year’s was a bit of scary holiday. You know, fear of the unknown and all. Usually upon the changing of each year, thoughts, feelings, sensations of fear would rise up in various ways and in varying degrees. Often accompanied by a fond review or pang for the delicious comfort of some wonderful experience or sense I had had that year – I suppose dwelling in the known past was comforting – these irrational fears have tended to possess me, in a visceral way, somehow at each change of year. Except for this one.
This year, mainly because of my overwhelming sense that 2012 was a very difficult year (correction, make it the last 3 years), I am very much looking forward to 2013 – and what it may bring. The difficulties I refer to are both personal in nature (which I won’t go into now, but some I’ve referred to previously) and also, more notably, societal – or, more specifically, apocalyptical.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had my share of apocalypse fatigue lately. After successfully navigating the Mayan apocalypse, the Fiscal Cliff, Hurricane Sandy, the Nor-Easter of 2012 and the ensuing 8 day blackout, Hurricane Irene, the Debt Ceiling of 2011, and the multitude of lesser apocalypses promoted (both justifiably and unjustifiably) by our hyperactive media culture, I’ve just about had it. And I’m looking forward to a really clean slate of calm, yet exciting, possibility unencumbered by external fears or limits. Is this just natural annual New Year’s resolution energy I’m feeling? Is it the the relief of having made it entirely and wholly in one piece through the latest and hopefully last apocalypse? Could it be the ushering and renewing energy of the post apocalyptic Age of Aquarius rising? Or is it that 2013 ends in 13, the traditional number of change. Who knows? But I do have a real visceral sense of and desire for new beginnings at this particular change of years, as never before.
And so, with this rising sense of wanting a brand new beginning, and having already learned in my life that no meaningful change can really happen without some sort of structure or framework for it to happen in, I remembered ThisBlogIsHabitForming. I started it three years ago in the change over from 2009 to 2010. It brought me great success and focus early on, while I was able to manage it. And some additional personal challenges, that I hadn’t planned on, crept into my life. My ability to manage, both the blog and as well as the changes I wanted, dwindled and eventually the blog went mute. Life happened.
Now with a 2 year clean slate of inactivity here (not counting a few false re-starts along the way) I’m ready to take a whack at it again, and see what happens. Don’t they say, “If at first you don’t succeed, try try again”?
Happy New Year. Let’s see what happens. Stay tuned. More to come.
Anyone else share any of these feelings?