My ambitious project of habit-forming fell flat on its face within in the first few months this year. Looking back now at my posts, I realize I didn’t share anything at all about what was really happening in my life at that time. Nor did I share the ultimate reason I ended up going bust, mainly because none of it was really clear until now – in my 2010 hindsight.
My attention and focus became immensely distracted this year. Yes. But what really happened was that my Dad fell ill. As a result, my focus shifted. And when my Dad fell ill, after his surgery, my time, more and more, became re-focused on caring for my Dad and my Mom – and less on me and my personal projects. Everything fell by the wayside. As the year progressed, so did Dad’s illness, through both general decline and subsequent, surmounting complications to his condition. My Dad died the day before Thanksgiving.
In the wake of his death, over the last few weeks, I find myself tying up loose ends. I’m finding and reviewing everything I dropped when Dad fell ill. And as what naturally happens this time of year, I’m reviewing everything tying up loose ends everywhere. In wrapping up of this year’s loose ends, I see now that this particular habit-forming project really had very little chance of surviving amidst the shifting background that was my life this past year. So I’m going to go ahead and forgive myself for my failure to complete this particular habit-forming project.
Now facing next year’s blank slate, I’m wondering “Should I take another whack at it?”
